I had a fabulous Mother's Day weekend, filled with delicious meals at my favorite places, spontaneous fun at the park, a mother daughter tea at a good friend's house, and lots of time with my girl and the hubs. Of the three years that I've had the blessing to celebrate this holiday as a mama, this one was, by far, the best. As each Mother's Day comes and goes, one thought plays over and over in my head.
That cute little bow-wearing bundle of energy up there has stolen my heart.
About ten minutes after I took that photo, she missed a step on those stairs at the playground and ended up cutting her little top lip open. There was minimal blood but lots and lots of tears which resulted in lots and lots of cuddling. In that moment, it was painstakingly clear that my heart is hers forever.
That sweet smiley face brings me such joy but my heart is sad every time I look at that little fat lip. My heart broke a little on Sunday when she fell. My heart breaks a little every time she gets hurt or is sad. I wonder - is this how it will be for the rest of my years? Will my heart always feel more than I ever thought possible because of how connected I am to her? After all, my body held hers for nine months, growing and nourishing her little body until it was time for her to be held in my arms. When that first pregnancy test, of many, told me I would be a mama, I didn't expect that I would feel more than I've ever felt in my life.
I got this text message from the hubs as I was leaving work yesterday. Again, I felt that juxtaposition of emotion as my heart twinged with a teensy bit of ache but also swelled with happiness at the same time, because she missed me. Some days, I wonder how I ever functioned, not knowing this precious little person. She has added more to my life than I ever thought possible.