just be quiet.

image made with the A Beautiful Mess app

I've never been one of those moms who is super productive during naptime. From the time N was a baby, I've used her naps to rest and I'm not talking sleep, though I probably should. I don't clean, do laundry, or anything else deemed domestically productive. Her (rare these days) naptime is my time to recharge, regroup, relax. I'll blog, read, do a devotion, snack, browse Instagram, or just sit and think.

I crave the quiet.

We don't allow ourselves enough time to do that these days, I think. To let our minds wander, to not fill it up on technology, to allow time to breathe and for contemplation. How can we be creative if we leave no time for creative thought? How can we function without time to quiet our hearts? How can we work through the trials of life if we have no time to think through them?

Can I encourage you to do something, if you're not doing it already? Try taking some time to just be quiet. 

Even if it's incredibly inconvenient.
Even if your house is a mess.
Even if your kids no longer nap and your quiet time is at 10:30 at night.
Even if you have to put all of the "screens" away so you're not tempted.
Even if your husband or kids don't get it.
Even if your to do list is six miles long.
Even if being alone with your thoughts scares you a little.
Even if it seems super weird.

It will restore you.

I promise.

just in case.

... you need to hear this today, too.

image made with the A Beautiful Mess app

I hope your Tuesday is a good one, friends.

all i wanted.

So, let's talk about Mother's Day.

Hubs asked me a few weeks ago if I wanted to do something in particular to celebrate and I told him that all I wanted was a pleasant day. Just a day that was free of toddler meltdowns, clothing battles, and attitude. Just a simply pleasant day.

Yesterday started with attitude from the three year old and escalated to a meltdown over what she was going to wear to church, all before 8 am. Hubs left for church and we continued with our morning, getting ready and watching cartoons. I started to grab my keys so we could join the hubs at church and ... they were locked inside my car. When I finally got ahold of a friend at church who flagged him down to come get us, well, we were really late to service. 

I should have just put my pajamas back on and climbed back into bed at this point.

After N's second meltdown mid-afternoon, I threw in the towel on my expectation of a pleasant day and lost my cool and some tears. What I really wanted was a perfect day and yesterday was far from that. Unrealistic, much?

my first Mother's Day in 2010

How can we expect to have a planned perfect day when the other three hundred sixty four never are?

It sets all of us up for failure, I think, especially those of us who are still parenting through the delightfully insane season of toddlerhood. The sparkly unicorn covered commercials and the whispy dreamlike visions we have in our heads are not always real life. Real life is messy, even on Mother's Day.

So, if you had a less than stellar Mother's Day (or three in a row like me), take a deep breath and know that you weren't alone. There's always next year and maybe, just maybe, we'll expect a little less than perfection.

brave.

Our girl is a cautious little one and always has been. She has to make sure she knows exactly what she's doing because she wants to do it correctly the first time. She never toddled. She cruised along the sides of furniture for months and finally walked ... and walked perfectly. So, maybe she's a little bit of a perfectionist, too. I have no idea where she gets that. *wink*

She loves to explore and go on "adventures." She loves doing new things and loves surprises which is kind of the opposite of cautious. She can be a bit of a juxtaposition at times which I happen to love.

She mastered swings towards the end of last year's summer. Slides? No way! At the park a few days ago, she sat at the top, contemplating whether or not she should try it. I went down with her a few times and so did the hubs. Then, much to our absolute delight, she went down all on her own!

Proudly, we sat and watched her go down, over and over, laughing and saying "I'm brave, Mommy!" Yes, honey, you are. And yes, she's wearing a dress to the playground. That's her favorite outfit of the moment. Who am I to argue? *smile*

A few days later, she "got brave" at another park and mastered sand. I couldn't get my sensitive little girl to leave, she loved it! The courage she's been showing lately makes this mama's heart soar.

Happy Thursday, friends.

*smile*

really real reality.

I'm struggling to do all the things.

How's that for blatant honesty in the first line of this post? I won't even make you read to the very end to get to my point. It's right there.

us.

It's truth. Total truth. You've probably read six other posts in the past week from other bloggers who struggle with this, too. There used to be days where blogging was one of the first things I thought about when I woke up in the morning, eager to set my fingertips to the keys to write.

These days, it's a mere afterthought - after the laundry, the litter pan, the schoolwork, the treasure hunting for my new vintage Instagram shop, the cooking, the dishes (oh my word, the dishes), the texting of the friends to stay sane (know what I mean?), the playdates, the house projects, and the other 9,382 things that a given week holds. 

I love all of those 9,382 things but it just feels like the 9,383rd thing is blogging.

Know what I mean?

one of my projects - my vintage stitchery/needlepoint/crewel wall.

I thought I had returned, feeling renewed, excited, and ready to share it all. The energy and focus with which I wrote this post waned almost instantly. I'm not sure of the exact reason except I'm just really enjoying living the outside of my computer life.

I haven't been very good about recording it all here in this space. I realized the other day that I never posted N's third birthday photos or recapped our very simple and quiet Easter celebration in March. And I'm probably not going to.

okay, I lied. this is from her third birthday party at a restaurant where your food is delivered on a train. isn't that the coolest?

she was thrilled with her simple and fun dollar store Easter basket. ecstatic is probably more accurate.

There are moments where I pretend to take a picture (a la Jim and Pam in their wedding episode of The Office) and think "this would make a GREAT blog post" but lately, it just hasn't made it onto this screen. Like when I drove off with my iPhone sitting on top of my car last week or when I dropped an expensive bottle of nail polish on the hotel bathroom floor and it shattered into a million pieces the weekend before. Yeah. *sigh*

I just feel the need to reiterate this:

I will be writing. I will be sharing. I will be here.

Thanks for sticking around. And for loving me even if I don't blog every day.